Always an Artist

I love this photograph my mother took of me when I was little. I was about 5 yrs old if I had to guess....I had a little, tiny children's table with little tiny chairs around it and I used to lay all my art stuff out in front of me. Coloring books, crayons, watercolors, whatever. So here I was drawing. I look amused that my mother finds this moment worthy of capturing.

I always get caught up wondering if I'm good enough as an artist or as a photographer and I get wrapped up thinking I don't always deserve those titles. But when I look at myself as a child I remember how much I felt like an artist already. I never questioned myself back then. I was confident in my abilities. I even drew a picture of a teddy bear with holly berries around him and presents in front of him once for a holiday contest in Kindergarten, and out of all the grades up to high school, they published my teddy bear on the front of a pamphlet about the school. I was sooo proud! My parents framed it and displayed it in our home.

Now I look around my home and see others' work, many of which are different than my own and stunning in their own right. But where is my stuff? Maybe I should print photos some just for me to enjoy and frame them, instead of just looking at them online all the time. I want to throw myself into that world again where I was an artist because I had crayons and glue and imagination.  Except now it might be painting an old cabinet or learning to use one of my vintage film cameras. I vow to keep on this path of creating and imagining and being inspired by everything I see on Etsy and in Somerset Life. I'm never going to "measure up" if I'm always comparing myself...I just have to know that I'm OK to be where I am, to show what I see. And it helps to look at this little girl from time to time too.


Katrina LB King said...

so cute!!

Sandy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sandy said...

Hey Mary....I wanted to comment again and say I love this pic!

I compare myself a lot too! I agree what you said about staying true to your work....'being OK where you are'.
Keep up the wonderful work!
Sandy X

Victoria Bennett Beyer said...

You ARE an artist in your own right!
I sometimes feel the same because my prints don't sell left and right on Etsy, like some of the other wonderful photogs, but I am always quick to remind myself that is only one measure of success. We create because we like to, and that is far more important. I need to frame up some of my own work for myself, too. It just never seems like a high priority, but I find myself thinking about it more and more. You should do it and show us some pix :)

Lynda said...

This pic is so cute, Mary! It's hard to lose yourself when you look at all the talent that's out there. I often feel the same way - that my work isn't good enough or doesn't measure up. When I start feeling that way, it's time to step back and remember why I do what I do. Because I love it. Because creating is as important as breathing. I'm (slowly) learning not to compare my work and to create from my heart. You are most definitely an artist and have every right to call yourself one! :)

Caitlin said...

This is a great post. We all need to dig deep to when we were young, to figure out what it is that truly makes us happy. Obviously being good at something makes it more enjoyable, but I think human beings need to express themselves in one way or another in order to feel fulfilled. Art, music, writing; all of it.

Thanks for your comment~ I have never heard of those programs you mentioned... I will have to check them out. Thanks for the tip!

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